[not quite finished :-/]
Heal your Heart… Find True Joy
[written June 18, 2015 – an example of Healing my Heart… and Finding Some Joy]
Normally I’m someone who wakes up in the morning excited about who I will meet, what I will learn. But today the skies are literally a metaphor for how I’m feeling; they’re gray and plump with humidity with the threat of an oncoming storm – a bit of sunlight would help right now please 🙂
I have been feeling the pressure of what I want to accomplish so that I can support myself financially and I won’t have to get a side-JOB (while building my business in Chicago after I moved back home). I KNOW that I already have everything I need in order to create this success, but I have been having a hard time getting out of my own way!
Especially lately, I have continued to feel overwhelmed. The biggest thing I have stressed about is choosing the focus of my business. Things have changed since I first started my practice, I feel there is a much broader purpose. I have such a wide diversity of interests, yet when I think of my biggest accomplishment that I might be able to share with others, besides gratefully raising two beautiful, healthy souls holistically, is the devotion I have to my personal growth.
For me, what comes with personal growth is choosing to explore and seek out what speaks to my heart. And the adventurer and explorer in me thrives on this adrenaline and excitement of discovery. Whether it’s finding the ideal tool that DICTATION provides to quickly get thoughts out of my mind. Or being reminded of the simple youthful joy of sticking my tongue back out at a little boy who did it to me first while on my walk.:-) Every little step reminds me of what is truly important.
[Note – I literally dictated the process that I just went through to calm myself down, feel more centered, and then see my big AHA! 🙂 ]
* do something that makes you feel better for the moment. Normally my favorite thing to do in this type of emotional state is go for a walk. But it’s raining really hard so I am sitting in my small, covered sunroom sitting on the outdoor furniture cushions watching and listening to the rain and feeling a bit calmer.
* I am careful about the “tense” that I use when I think and write and talk out loud. I know how much energy our thoughts and words have. When I have troubling thoughts, I have taught myself to red flag if I make a negative statement or comment in the present tense. I will even say “cancel cancel cancel ” to neutralize the negative energy that I just “claimed” for myself; for me, it’s like I’m putting my fingers over my mouth and telling Universe OOPS ;-). [Okay that’s good I’m starting to see a bit of my humor 😉 ]
* writing can help so much! I honestly started this post just to relieve the continual pinball effect in my brain, and just get some of these thoughts out of my head. Although only a few moments ago I was feeling a lot of angst, I’m already feeling the pressure relief. Subconsciously with all the lessons I’ve learned, I knew that when I’m feeling inner conflict, universe is really nudging me out of the nest, it’s time to take the next step, learn a new lesson.
* ahhhh … My AHA right now is that I’m meant to share what I’ve learned along this personal growth journey. When I have been there for a friend or family member when they are going through a hard time, in addition to just being there for them while they talk, I will share something that has helped me in a similar moment. It may even be one of the processes that I made up for myself while trying to understand something better about myself. They tell me then or later how much these have helped.
We all intellectually know that we’re not the only ones that go through a hard time. But sometimes it can feel that way, doesn’t it? How does everyone else have it all figured out?! What do they know that I don’t know yet? Why is it taking so long?!
On my personal growth journey, I can’t tell you the number of books and articles and videos and workshops that I have read and watched and participated in since I was a child(!). Seriously, with an incredibly strong desire for my heart to feel happier and lighter, second only to wanting to be the best mom possible later on, I can say that my second biggest accomplishment is the time and practice I have put into healing and taking the next step forward toward feeling more peace in my heart. Wow…that in itself is actually a revelation while I’m acknowledging it right now.
What was intended to be a journal entry to help myself, I am choosing to share and post this in my blog. Perhaps my process can help you feel better in the moment, and it will bring comfort in reminding you that you’re not alone, and that you’re being lovingly nudged by Universe because you’re Ready to take the next healing step. <3
I recently went through a course that helped me to identify my true purpose. Kristen Domingue’s process help to me finally articulate what has been my heart’s mantra my entire life.
To encourage souls to connect with the beauty of their life adventure.
It has just naturally been the driving force behind every moment of awe, smile, hug, every word of comfort or shared advice, and most of all behind how I felt a very deep need to help others in some way.
Although I have already had my heart-rewarding holistic health practice for over 15 years, the more powerful and impactful way that I knew was possible for me to help others with emotional, spiritual and physical healing and stepping forward in greater self- empowerment has been just beyond my reach. Not being able to understand how I could best accomplish this has left me at a loss for words and direction. I feel I have my How … Thank you thank you thank you <3 :-D))))
And the irony is not lost on me … The downpour has stopped and the sun is starting to peek out. I can go through my day with a more peaceful heart 🙂
Remember your Light… your Adventure
I’ll admit right from the start…
I’m a work-in-progress (Amen to that!), as we all are.
Here’s the thing … even though you’re probably an insatiable student like me, there’s still SO much UNIQUE information that we already know that we can share and help others with right Now!
And when I say Unique … we’re like fingerprints with unique pasts, experiences, and desires that bundle into a beautiful source and perspective for others.
Most of you can relate with how we hold back on sharing our AHA’s and some really cool *stuff* we’ve felt … seen …or learned about. I’ve been SO guilty of this!
How many years have you also felt you have a soul-level desire (maybe even a responsibility) to share with other kindred spirits … with others who resonate with your words … what we’ve learned and experienced?
Part of me still cringes at the number of years it’s taken ME to finally create this space, but I’m such a believer in divine timing (WITH action) that I’ve told myself LET. IT. GO. [poof]
So, here I AM … stepping forward [footprints]
And with some excited and edgy energy, I’m as exhilarated as when I stepped out onto that tiny ledge of a twin-engine Cessna plane for my first solo skydive jump! (psst I’ll find a photo to prove it! ;-))
I’ll trust in the process and that I’m in good hands, mind my mentors’ suggestions, connect daily with my Guides, and follow my heart and intuition.
And for ME, focus on ONE thing at a time to minimize Overwhelm! 😉 (Please tell me I’m not the only one!! )
One thing I know beyond a doubt …
as we each have an underlying Purpose that we just naturally *do* since birth (often unknowingly) with family, friends, romantic partners, clients, etc. … when I was FINALLY able to articulate my True Purpose statement, so many pieces of ME *clicked* and fell into place.
That moment that it clicked…the best way I can describe it is …
imagine Robert Downey Jr as Iron Man, suspended in air, and all the different pieces of his armor ‘purposefully’ fly in and connect in perfect synchronicity to create a ‘shield’ of strength and support.
Remember how he also had his loyal AI friend ‘JARVIS’ to guide and work with him to help achieve his purpose? Of course we also always have our own personal Guides and Angels available WHENEVER we’re ready for their help … we just have to Ask!
MY true purpose is …
to encourage souls to Connect with the Beauty of their Life Adventure.
(I’m so tempted to change this to *Light* Adventure because that’s really what it is! But I’ll sit on that for a bit.)
EVERY DAY, I wake up excited about WHO I’m going to meet that day or who is suppose to meet me, WHAT am I going to learn or share with someone that we’re meant to hear, HOW will synchronicity and opportunities show up and flow through the day, and WHERE will things happen! It LIGHTS. ME. UP!!
Through the ups and downs …
And I totally know that they’re not always pleasant experiences. Over time, I’ve learned to respect that even with heart-wrenching times in my life, I Choose to find the inner strength to let myself grieve, process, and let go of the unwanted emotional energy that could possibly block my ongoing personal and spiritual growth.
Overall, This Life is an Adventure
… to Enjoy, Experience, be Grateful for, Learn from, and Treasure for the lessons we learn.
And so … here YOU are … as you are meant to BE … Welcome my friend 🙂
Let’s help you *remember* what YOUR Light and Life Adventure is this time around!
Share your gifts… and prosper
In a nutshell, without understanding how it was happening, since childhood my high sensitivity has always compelled me to help others because of what I *see*. For example, other peoples’ natural gifts quickly become obvious to me and, now with their permission, I’m compelled to lovingly nudge them along with the intuitive messages they’re meant to hear.
It’s like I *see* their natural inner Light. With my excitement at the beauty of their potential, my vibrational level would increase so much that it was often difficult to communicate clearly what I felt.
Especially in my teen and college years, my observations and perspectives were so *weird* to others that I clammed up and walked around with a shy smile (an introvert with capital “I”). Fortunately I made it through those years fairly unscathed socially as a quiet and optimistic observer 🙂
Over the years I’ve opened up, and I can now *articulate* who I AM beyond my immediate family, friends and clients who thankfully recognized my sincerity, passion and abundant love and desire to help others.
To step outside of my comfortable (in my case) local practice … It’s TIME. I’m READY!
… and so are YOU !!!
I just may have a little more conscious experience, a little more worn tread on the tires, a lot more … alriiiight, you’ve got the idea 😉
There are so many of you kindred spirits that I’m excited to meet Here, in person, in my meet-ups or workshops, through my upcoming online courses,…
We are all ONE, so you may feel an increasing energy or vibration in your life as we re-connect at a soul level, when you resonate with *our* Words, and as your Light beams brighter.
You have special Gifts to share, and I want to help you prosper in all areas of your life!
I’m so grateful we have this space 🙂
Water … 3 Scares that Forever Changed my Life!
I recently heard about a book by Adam Braun, a magna cum from Brown University, a young man with a huge heart who has helped build over 20 schools around the world. He wrote this book about his experiences: The Promise of a Pencil: How an Ordinary Person Can Create Extraordinary Change.
In an interview, Adam explained how he wanted to do a college semester “at sea” where a ship drops students of at 11 different countries for a week at a time. In every country, the students were 100% responsible for arranging their housing, food, etc… He was really excited as he embarked on his trip until a traumatic life event happened that changed his life …
As the ship headed out, they were essentially caught in a “perfect storm” with 3 different storm fronts. At one point, a 60′ wave crashed over the ship breaking all the glass on their 6th floor deck and ruining all the navigational equipment etc. They did get a MayDay out, but they were a floating duck!
Adam thought for sure he was going to die, and all the common life questions “flashed” through his mind. Why am I about to perish? If I’m about to die, why was I put here? Looking back through his life, the things that stood out were not about “things” but instead were about family and about the times he had been of service. His final acceptance was … maybe I was just here to help someone else.
Hearing this story made me think about three separate times when I had close calls. Of all of the scenarios (coincidently ALL of them happened in water), although I don’t recall thinking any profound life questions, each time I walked away having learned lessons that have helped me well while on my Path of learning to serve others …
1) Just a child …
The first incident was when I was 12 while spending a New Hampshire summer with my Grandparents, and experiencing my very first visit to an ocean.
Our summer softball team included local girls plus two Minnesota sisters also visiting their grandparents. We were excited for our end-of-season party at a beach in Maine. Unaware of what a “tide” was, the sisters and I were playing frisbee together in the late afternoon, and with all our jumping around we didn’t realize we were being slowly swept out.
We found out quickly that we couldn’t seem to swim ourselves back in and were getting further and further from shore. Someone finally heard our calls for help and called the lifeguards, but we were pretty tired by now. Fortunately the sisters were on a swim team and made suggestions on how to swim with less effort, but I was almost done for.
It was sheer determination with encouragement that I kept my head above water long enough for the terrified lifeguards to finally get to us with a surf board.
Here’s something that struck me when I returned to my grandparents house … I couldn’t seem to convey how close that experience came to having a different ending, and my grandparents made light of it. I remember going to bed early to hide under the covers. But somehow I processed my emotions on my own because I ultimately walked away proud of myself for not giving up.
2) As a young teen …
The next time was a few years later when my family and I were camping near a lake with family friends.
A bunch of us kids were swimming in a “non-lifeguard” roped area when I saw one of the younger boys panicking as he waved his arms while continually going under water near the farthest rope. The rope distance from shore was pretty far out and none of the families noticed him having trouble; in any case they would have had a hard time getting to him on time.
I swam over to him right away just to calm him down but he immediately jumped on me in panic. He was a big boy and kept pushing me under. I couldn’t get away from him … I was starting to get pretty scared for both of us.
Then I remembered … I had just started a lifeguard course and we went over this exact scenario. I needed to get away, come up to him from behind, and put him in a hold so he couldn’t grab onto me. He was terrified when I got away and came back by putting him in the hold, but then I was able to talk to him more confidently, telling him to relax while we started heading toward shore.
My will and clear thinking of a solution is the only thing that helped me and this boy get to shore safely. The families didn’t even know there was a problem until I had to tell them. Again, no one else saw the danger we had been in.
I walked away proud of myself that I had stepped back from a challenging moment, and stayed calm enough to find a solution.
3) As a young woman trying to find my “sea legs” …
And the final scenario was when I was 18 while following my Dad’s footsteps and taking my 5th solo, static-line skydive!
The jump site was still using round army parachutes, which were more difficult to steer and had a slow turn response. The jump site used a huge arrow on the ground to communicate to the parachuters which direction to turn in order to land back at the jump site.
On this particular dive, I think there was a funky wind because I was quickly getting close to the ground while still far from the site. I was also heading straight for a large pond!
Eventually I had to ignore the arrow so that I could try and get myself away from the pond, but there’s such a turn delay with the round chutes that nothing was happening fast enough.
We were trained to use our flotation device if we thought we’d land in water, but I really thought I was going to make it to the side of the pond. Instead I dropped like a ‘lead balloon’ and landed smack in the middle of the pond.
I had wits enough to keep the chute from landing on top of me, but then my helmet and boots kept pulling me under water. I then tried to take off my helmet and my boots, but started to panic when they wouldn’t budge.
I knew I was about 2 miles from the jump site, so I then realized that it was 100% up to me, I was on my own. I was already getting tired and not able to swim to the edge with a dragging chute and heavy equipment, so I went with the ‘least resistance’ approach.
I took a breath and allowed myself to go underwater with my back toward the shore. With my arms at my side, I slowly pushed my way along in the water with little hand movements. I went back up for air as needed, saw that I was making a little progress, went back underwater and just kept at it until the toe of my boot finally touched ground.
I went a bit further and was just able to jump a bit to keep my head above water when my dad’s car came screeching to a stop on the road beside the pond.
First thing he said was “so you decided to go for a water dive huh!” with a chuckle. What the *&^% ?!! Sheer will, staying calm, keeping my head, and doing what I needed to do saved my a#$% that time!
I’m sorry for the pun but I can honestly say … talk about Sink or Swim!!
With hindsight, I see a common theme. All three incidents involved strengthening my WILL to overcome panic, thinking clearly in a stressful situation, keep working at it, and then be rewarded with a powerful lesson and outcome.
We all have our own type of powerful experiences, and there are always valuable lessons to be learned from them that we can apply to our daily lives.
Fo me, when I go through hairy moments, I’ve learned to take a deep breath and say “I’ve got this!”
